Is there much better than snuggling in on a cold and rainy weekend? I could use a fireplace, but then I’d need someone to stoke it and take care of it. Extra blankets and kitty cats will have to do.
I was out and about today, running errands, getting things done. When I got back, I sat for a moment in my Jeep … a feeling of content washing over me. The weekend was mine. I have lots of things to do, but none of them will take me away from my happy place.
Oh, it’s a mess right now. You know, I could give you a million reasons for it, but the reasons change on a regular basis, so I’m learning to accept that it’s a mess and I’ll clean it up when I do.
A conversation with my brother sparked a long series of thoughts about fear. We’d been talking about how much I loved being a hermit because people were weird. He said something about hating having to deal with pettiness of people and it occurred to me that most all of the garbage we see as people interact with each other is based on their fears.
The worst of our own behaviors come out because of fear. When we allow it to take over our lives, we lose ourselves to its control. We use pretty words to justify it, but in the end, we are afraid. We’re afraid of rejection, of losing power or control, of not having enough or losing out to someone else. We’re afraid being unsafe or looking stupid. We’re afraid of people thinking less of us or implying that we’re worthless. We’re afraid of not having enough money, or food to feed our families or forcing our kids to wear second hand clothes. We’re afraid of so many things. And often, we respond to the world based on those fears rather than reality.
When those fears cause us to react in harmful ways (verbal, emotional or physical) to others, we’ve lost control of them. The worst thing is that at that point, we often get even worse to cover for what we’ve done.
One night I was walking alone in a part of Omaha that is known for its music. It’s a funky, wonderful part of town. As dusk set in, a group of high schoolers were on approach. They were loud and raucous – and more than a little intimidating. I crossed the street and stopped into a little shop there, just to escape what might come at me. Now, I’ve worked with kids my entire life, but I was afraid. They intended me no harm – my reaction was my own and it embarrassed me.
My worst behaviors are always there because of my fears. All I can do is try to continue to recognize that and overcome my reactions. Giving in to fear is never the right answer.
In other news, Nick’s in Des Moines won for the best pork tenderloin in Iowa 2016. I haven’t eaten there … yet.
This is such a fun contest and highlights restaurants all across the state.
Here’s an article on the winner if you want to see what the best tenderloin looks like! The guy sells one thousand of these a week. Are you kidding me? Wow!
And for those of you who want more information on the tenderloin, this article is a lot of fun. I’m telling ya – a trip to Iowa just for the tenderloin should be in your vacation plans someday!