Sometimes I wish that sociopathic behavior was something I could turn on or off at a moment’s notice. I’d like to be able to do and say horrible things with no guilt – just every once in a while. You know … like everyone else seems to. Well, the everyone else who aren’t my friends and family. Okay, so no one I really know. But still.
I have a governor (definition: a device regulating the supply of fuel, steam or water to a machine, ensuring uniform motion or limiting speed – I limit the speed of my tongue) on my behavior that frustrates the heck out of me sometimes.
Don’t you just want to tell people what idiots they are? Or maybe ask if their parents were much too closely related to bear children?
Yeah. Me too. But I don’t, because grace and kindness were drilled into me far too long and okay, it breaks my heart to hurt someone. Yeah, yeah, yeah … it would never work out.
But up there in my head? Oh, I am the queen of tongue-lashings and stupid-is-as-stupid-does accusations.
It gets really frustrating when I open a new blogging document and thrash about looking for something interesting to write when all I’m really thinking about is how I just want to verbally destroy about a hundred million people.
Then I face facts. Nobody ever changes their behavior based on verbal attacks. The only thing you do is create a chasm with no bridge.
And I’m all about bridges.
Sanity. It really sucks sometimes.