These last thirty hours or so have been glorious. Quiet. Restful. Thoughtful. Quiet.
My mind has wandered all over the place – on its own. No goal, no writing requirement, no trying to figure out a plot line or decide who is going where. And it has been quiet.
One of the things I know best about myself is that I can do a lot of stuff while I’m in the middle of chaos. I can work like the end of days is coming and get things done as fast as they need to be done. Focus is something I do well. Deadlines are my bread and butter.
But that’s not when I’m my most creative.
There are reasons that I only wrote little bits and pieces when I was working and living that crazy, wonderful life that had me running from first thing in the morning until I dropped onto the couch at night. My mind was running as fast as the rest of me was to keep up with all of the demands I placed on it.
Once in a while on a Friday night, when I knew there was nothing coming at me the next day, I stayed up until three or four in the morning and wrote crazy things that fluttered around in a mind that found its quiet.
I thought my life was at its fullest when I ran as fast as I could, doing as much as possible, meeting with everyone I knew. It was amazing and I wouldn’t be who I am now unless I had done all of that.
But every day, age and wisdom teaches me new things. One of those is that I know that the quiet is where my creativity resides; where peace and contentment allow my mind to explode beyond every day necessities.
It’s not for everyone today. But it is for me. You might not be ready for this. You might still be in the frenzied throes of a crazy, wonderful life that has you meeting yourself at the door each morning, unsure of whether you’re coming or going. Don’t negate that by trying to be where I have found myself. That might be what you want at this point in your life and it is exciting and thrilling.
If only we didn’t believe that another person’s life is what we must emulate. If only we didn’t think that the life we lived five years ago is better or worse than the one we’re living today. If only we would learn that life is what is happening right now. If only we trusted in ourselves for just this moment, and then for the next, and the next after that.
I’m grateful for what was and I’m grateful for what is and I am grateful for every moment of what is to come. I’m not alone in any of it. I don’t need to worry about who I was, who I am or who I will be. I don’t need anyone else to tell me what is right or wrong for my life.
And neither do you.
But tonight, I’m thankful for quiet that leads to creativity.