Category Archives: Diane’s Life

Day Off!

Book 18 – Just Around the Bend flittered across the digital universe to editors / proofreaders last night.

Ahhhhh …

For the first time in two weeks, I slept more than a few short hours last night – like nine and a half hours. I felt like a normal human being today. It didn’t help that a headline I whipped past in the last few days informed me that sleep deprivation causes the brain to eat itself. Great. People, we need to get more sleep on a regular basis.

I know that I’m about half as creative when I don’t get enough sleep, so I cheat and take a nap before I start writing at night, but that doesn’t give me enough energy to do other things during the day.

My sewing machine was put back to work today – that felt awesome. I have a few projects that I want to finish this weekend before I go back to work at my computer. So many things. So much excitement to come.

I turned my iron on and Grey jumped up to see what I was working on. As the iron heated up, she started doing her blinky-eyed thing. You know, that blink that tells you how much cats hate what you’ve got going on?

I’ll bet you think this is cute. No. This is Earl baring his throat to TB, who is mad at him and more than ready to sink his teeth into it. Silly boys. At least TB doesn’t attempt to break skin. He just wants Earl to stop pestering him.

Grey doesn’t like the lotion I put on after a shower. She doesn’t like the cleaning wipes I use beside the stove. She doesn’t like onions or garlic. And she doesn’t like the heat from my iron. Oh yeah. She also doesn’t much care for the Godiva Chocolate Liqueur that I’m enjoying on my first night off in months. Blinky-eye, blinky-eye.

It’s pretty cute.

I’m relaxed, no longer sleep-deprived, the weather outside is gorgeous, I have a few minutes to do something other than focus on Bellingwood … this weekend is nearly perfect.

Before I have time to miss my friends there, I’ll be back at it.  Notes for Book 19 are already being gathered.

Boxed Set 2~~~  FREE BOOK

The second boxed set is free until May 31. (Click here) If you’ve been waiting to move forward with the community, now’s the time.

If you have friends you’d like to invite to join you, they can get the first boxed set (Click here) for $6.99 and the next for free. That’s a lot of reading.

~~~  BOOK 18 – JUNE 25

Release day for Book 18 is June 25th. Not too much longer.

~~~  WINE PARTY – JUNE 16

Wine & Trivia night is Friday, June 16th. You don’t want to miss it. So much fun and lots of prizes. Be sure you’re part of the fun on the Bellingwood Facebook page.

I Love Language … and Words

Yeah, yeah, yeah …

I’m supposed to be working, but a new book just showed up on my front door step and I can barely contain myself.

Have I mentioned lately how much I love words? Oh my goodness, but they make me happy. (okay, whoops, I was totally gone there for about thirty seconds while my mind wandered off to chase down some of my favorite words. Anyway …)

David Crystal’s book, “Making Sense: The Glamorous Story of English Grammar” is sitting in front of me and I’m typing this before I’ve even finished the preface … because, well … words!

I have to share this with you because it made my heart skip a beat.

grammar
from Old French gramaire,
which was an adaptation of Latin grammatica
which in turn came from Greek grammatiki
meaning ‘pertaining to letters or literature’
which later narrowed to mean just the language of texts
which in the Middle Ages meant chiefly Latin
and so took on the meaning of ‘special learning, knowledge’
and then ‘secret knowledge’ as in magic and astrology
which is how it was first used in Scotland in the 18th century
when the word was pronounced with an l instead of an r
and the meaning developed of ‘enchantment, spell’
and later became the word we know today, meaning
‘charm, attractiveness, physical allure’
spelled
glamour (British English)
glamor (American English)

(Crystal, 2017)

Process on that little passage, then re-read the title and subtitle.

Think about how that single word transformed throughout the centuries and what a gift it is. These are the things that thrill my mind and send me wandering off the normal path of life so I can explore deep and creative thoughts.

My goodness, I love words.

Words Matter

After five distinct pieces of information came at me today regarding the importance of words we use, it suddenly occurred to me that the message was bigger than just taking it in and moving on. My mind began spinning through memories, thoughts, impressions … and well … words.

The first was a post about a young woman and her daughter. She realized that the way her little girl responds to the world comes from her reactions. So when she stands in front of a mirror with a swimsuit on, rather than talking about how fat she is or focusing on her flaws, she spoke of how beautiful the color of the suit was.  Because what that child hears is what she will believe is important.

How many times have you talked about how fat you were in front of your children? Oh, for heaven’s sake! When I think about my childhood, my mother was up and down with her weight and it was always part of the conversation. We walked through stores and she’d point at overweight women and ask us whether they were fatter than she was. Good thing Mom raised smart children … we knew the proper response. But that’s how she saw herself … not the beautiful woman that she was. And that’s what she taught us to see in ourselves. What was truly important was shifted away in the wake of manufactured imagery.

Words matter.

Then I watched an adorable video (link here) of a girl who came out into the garage with makeup on. Her father asks “What do you have on your face?” and without hesitation, the little girl said, “Beauty.”

Amen, child.

Words matter.

In Michigan, a Muslim couple invites groups of people they’ve never met before into their home for a meal and open themselves up for questions – nothing is off limits. Before the evening has ended, their hospitality and the ensuing discussions taught a very diverse group of people that they have more in common than anyone realized. The conversation changed them all (link to article here).

Words matter.

One of Max’s favorite actors is Charlie Chaplin. The final speech from The Great Dictator (1940) is powerful, but I don’t know if I ever really paid attention to the words. This video of it being spoken by people around the world … different accents, different races, different genders, different languages … it ripped my heart to pieces. It’s a four-minute video, but I finally heard what he said. If you’d like to read the speech (and you really should), here’s the link.

Words matter.

Finally, one of my contemporary heroes when it comes to words is Seth Godin. He writes daily updates and they are often very powerful. Today’s post from him finally caught me and I realized how many different ways I’d been inundated with the importance of words in just a few minutes. Here’s the link to the post, but I’m going to quote the entire short message here … it’s just that important to me.

“Just words

How about, just bullets, just diseases, just starvation?

The whole “sticks and stones” canard is really dangerous. When a stone gives you a bruise, it’s entirely possible you will completely heal. But when a torrent of words undermine your view of what’s possible, you might never recover.

Words matter. They can open doors, light a way and make a difference.”
– Seth Godin

Do you remember that song you learned in Sunday School – O Be Careful, Little Eyes? (tune of If You’re Happy and You Know It, Clap Your Hands)

One verse came flying into my mind as I typed today:
Oh, be careful little mouth, what you say, 
Oh, be careful little mouth, what you say, 
For the Father up above, Is looking down in love,
So be careful little mouth what you say.

Words Matter.

~~~

TB & Earl … keeping me company in the midst of my writing frenzies.

Book 18 is nearly finished. I wrote nearly seven thousand words last night in order to catch up to my self-imposed deadline – first draft will be finished tonight. This next week will be long hours of ripping it apart to deal with all of the holes and errors I created along the way. But it will be put back together and come out a much better story.

As much as I love the writing part, this is when it starts getting fun for me. Because I love creating order from chaos (my entire life is chaos), there’s nothing more wonderful than seeing all of the broken pieces line up to create the story that I’d intended.

This afternoon I MUST start working on the title and book cover. There’s a newsletter coming out on Thursday and I can’t wait to share what’s been going on. Be sure you’ve signed up so you miss nothing!

Crazy Days

I like to think that Earl loves me best, but the truth is – he’ll do anything for TB’s attention. How cute are they?

I love my life. I love it so much. I’m a lucky girl.

But wow, this crazy schedule that I’ve set for myself wears me completely out a few weeks every quarter. I’m in the middle of a big push to finish Book 18, get the title and cover worked out and the book off to initial proofreaders and editors. All of that, plus a vignette and the newsletter by May 25th. Yep … Hauling some serious tushie around here.

Because there have been several other projects that dropped into the mix since January 1st, the only way for me to achieve all of my goals (and seriously, I keep adding to the list), I’ve really had to step up my word count for each day. Last year, I liked to kick into gear within a week after publishing a book, giving me plenty of leeway for the next book. If I only wrote fifteen hundred to two thousand words in a day, that was still fine, though I usually pushed to about three thousand words at the end of the writing cycle.

Lately I’ve been regularly writing around four thousand words per day to get this book out on time. The Abiding Grace story took time to write and a *secret* project (yeah, I hate that too, but you’ll know within a couple of months, I promise) took up writing time.

Then it hit me. Book 18 needed to move through my fingers right now! This is the best part about Bellingwood. I truly live there in my head. Yeah, yeah, yeah … it’s not that weird.

Okay, maybe it is. All I had to do was tell the characters that we were on location again and they stepped up. Strangers drop in, everyone starts telling me their secrets, their dreams and hopes, children dig out their best behavior. It’s pretty cool.

Tomorrow night (Thursday), I’ll hit the three-quarter mark of my targeted word count goal. The stories are starting to come together and find their end. It’s fun to see things slow down. This is going to be a strange summer in Polly’s life. Lots of changes are ahead for her family. But first we need to get her through some endings. Nothing tragic – it’s all very exciting. But you know how moms can be.

I plan to finish the very rough first draft Sunday night then spend an intense number of hours re-writing, fixing, adjust, destroying, reconstructing and putting the manuscript into good order. When Memorial Day weekend gets here, there might have to be a few glasses of wine that find their way to my lips.

I’m so glad that you are part of this life with me. Thanks for hanging out.

Welcome, Morning!

Grey on the left and Earl.

We’re all friends here, right?

I had all sorts of good intentions yesterday. There is so much to do before the newsletter comes out on Tuesday morning (have you signed up for it yet?). I wanted to hang out with people on the FB page and talk about their cute fur-beasts. I even had a wonderful supper in the plans.

But instead, I dealt with the worst bout of food poisoning I’ve had in twenty-five years. Oh good heavens! Things were happening here that have no place on the planet we lovingly call home. From Stygian depths came explosions of horrors.

I can laugh about it this morning. Though I’m not quite one hundred percent, I’m so much better.

My poor cats didn’t quite know what to do. TB ended up hiding. He tried to hang with me and be supportive, but terrible noises and foul emanations scared him away. Earl was just plain shocked. Fortunately, Grey stuck close as I moved from the bed to the bathroom.

Let’s not repeat any of that … ever again.

The last time something this awful happened was at least twenty-five years ago. Carol and I both got it and chased each other in and out of our adjoining bathroom.

The time before that had been 1984. The reason I remember the year was because Mom, Carol and I were in Minneapolis to begin training for our brand-new franchise print shop. On the trip up, that fateful Sunday evening, Mom and I ate some bad potato salad at a buffet and the two of us moaned, cried and delivered ugliness all night long. Before training even began, we had to postpone a day because we couldn’t remain upright for longer than it took to get into the bathroom.

About one thirty this morning, the worst of it was finally over, though I ached. Carol had made me promise to call her if I needed her, no matter the hour. I just sent a message that I lived.

Little by little, I returned the house to some sort of normal – putting things back that had been strewn around in my thunky travails. The poor cats needed food and water, so I took care of them. However, though I lamented the fact that I was going to be sorry, I didn’t get my cold-brew coffee made. We’re going to hope that it hurries this morning.

I’m pretty sure I know what caused it, but trust me when I tell you that everything in that refrigerator is suspect. I have an iron stomach and food never takes me out that badly.

We all have stories about these awful moments in our lives. I hope you’re able to laugh about yours. What’s the worst case of food poisoning you’ve ever experienced?

Mom and I were terribly embarrassed to tell the people at our printshop corporate offices that we couldn’t come in that first day of training. Did food poisoning ever embarrass you?

Come on … we’re all friends here, right?

Patience … Learned

There was a day when I was young and naive about what to pray for when it came to asking God how to be a better person.  I was a pretty good kid. I didn’t fight with my parents, I didn’t drink or do drugs, I was a good student … on and on. I was still young enough that my sins were pretty minor. The one thing that I did know was a problem was my lack of patience. So, silly me … I prayed for patience. I was only fifteen. This couldn’t take too long to learn, right? (insert hysterical laughter)

As I lay in bed this morning thinking about getting up, three cats clambered over me, up and around, over and back. I laughed. In the last twenty years, some memorable lessons in patience have come from my cats. Imagine that.

Twenty years ago, Max and I were dealing with a terrible mouse problem. After he trapped fourteen in one week, something had to change. Max mentioned that getting a cat might help. Uh … what? I didn’t like cats. At all. Multiple stories from my past reinforced that dislike. My dog, though, just watched the mice eat from his food dish. Useless thing.

Off we went to PetSmart for supplies. I wanted things in place before heading to the humane society the next day. Lo and behold, a rescue was at the store with a number of cats. I approached with great trepidation.

A ginger tabby sat in his kennel – calm as could be. I put my hand in and he just looked at it. He didn’t bat my hand away, hiss, or meow. Nothing. He was perfectly content for me to pick him up, so I did. We walked out with him that night. As soon as we were in the car, he leapt out of my arms and hid under the car seat. Yikes. But we finally got him into the house, where he promptly escaped and hid.

I didn’t see him again for two weeks. After some initial panic that he’d gotten out and run away, a friend told me to watch the food and litter. Yeah. He was there. I promptly named him Howard – Howard Hughes, the millionaire hermit who hid from the world.

One night I went downstairs and Howard was sitting in the bathroom off the kitchen. He didn’t run away. I sat down and talked to him. He watched me. I ran back to the stairs, told Max to lock the dog in the bedroom and come down. The two of us sat on the kitchen floor and waited for Howard. He walked past us a couple of times, then again. I put my hand out and he walked under it, letting me rub his back. We did this for an hour or two in the middle of the night and then he belonged to us. I’d learned to be patient.

Several months later, a friend needed to re-home her cat, Peekaboo. Uhhh, I don’t own cats named Peekaboo. She brought over this big, fat grey cat who was pissed as hell. I promptly renamed him Ichabod – kept a few of the consonants so he’d know his name. We took him to an upstairs bedroom, put litter and food and a bed in there and I sat with him. He wanted nothing to do with me, Howard, Bert (the dachshund) or Max.

Ichabod, Howard & Bert

Every night after work, I’d go into his room and sit with him for forty-five minutes at a minimum. I’d spend time in the morning and then again before going to bed. It took a couple of weeks, but he finally let me pet his back. At the end of two weeks, though, I was done. He needed to figure it out. I put a baby gate in the door so Howard could get in to see him. Ichabod wasn’t leaving though. A couple of weeks later the baby gate came down and Ichabod integrated into the household. I’d learned a lot of patience with that snarly, mean cat. He never got much nicer, but he learned to love me and we got along just fine.

When TB arrived in my life, I realized how much Howard had spoiled me. He was such a good cat. He never did hiss at anyone and never bared his claws to me. He was docile and loving.

Not TB. TB was independent and curious. A true cat. If he didn’t like what I was doing, rather than tell me, he clawed or bit me. My hands were hamburger. I knew he loved me and I took what he had to dish out because we were going to be a family. He broke through the screens on my front porch, insisting on being in the out of doors. I spent many nights absolutely panic-stricken when he came home late. But he always came home. I learned how to be patient and let my independent boy come to me for love. I couldn’t force it. He taught me a lot, but mostly patience. (He’s completely an indoor cat now – not terribly happy about it, but he’s grown older and more patient too. And the clawing and biting is in the past.)

Grey is so easygoing, I haven’t had much to learn with her, but Earl was a different story. When he came into the house, he was so glad to be with Grey, he couldn’t stand it. But he didn’t really want any human affection. He’d been living on his own for an extra three weeks and wasn’t quite sure what to do with me. Earl was always polite. He has never hissed at me or tried to scratch me, but when I picked him up, he went stiff. He still flinches if I try to pat his head. I have no idea why, but he doesn’t want my hand to come near his head. I waited and waited, continuing to pick him up, even if he was stiff and unyielding. I’d snuggle him and love him, rub down his back and up his tail.

Today, two years later, Earl comes to curl up in my arms while I work. He’s the one who lets me rub his tummy. At night, he flops himself over my feet and purr like crazy, until he needs more affection and climbs up to lie on top of me. The other night he let me rub the back of his neck and up onto his head, purring and happy. My patience with him has paid off. He is the most loving cat I’ve ever known. He craves my affection.

I could tell you stories about people who have taught me even more about patience, but often those aren’t my stories to tell. No, it’s these fun stories that come to mind when I’m trying to wake up. Animals are so much more than just companions, they teach us how to live and remind us how to live well.

Happy Easter Weekend

Copyright 2017 – Maxim M. Muir

I do my very best work when it comes to avoiding things that break my heart. Stories that make me not just cry, but weep with pain and agony are hard for me. Some might attribute this to a Pollyanna-ish attitude toward life, but truth be told, I’ve lived enough pain and loss that deliberately exposing myself to more seems ridiculous.

This weekend – Easter Weekend, specifically Good Friday – is one of those that I would have loved to avoid. You can laugh with me, if you will … I’m a nut.

You see, I’m the girl who reads the gospels and knows exactly what is coming, but prays that I don’t have to read it again. When I watch movies about the crucifixion and resurrection, I dread that Good Friday moment on the cross. I fall in love with Jesus all over again as the movie presents him in all his humanity and then I am destroyed as I watch his humanity come to grips with that which his divinity has already done. There’s a little part of me that wishes that just once, he wouldn’t have to die on the cross.

As much as I silently beg for it to not happen (inside my head so no one knows what a ridiculous fool I’m being), I find myself so thankful that Good Friday isn’t the end of the story.

The crazy thing is – the Resurrection isn’t the end of the story either. The story is just getting started on Easter Sunday morning when the glory of heaven reveals itself to creation.

Every year, I approach Good Friday with trepidation, knowing that once more I am faced with the truth of what sin has wrought. God’s son chose to die an excruciating death, one that I can barely read about or consider, so that he could give us the opportunity to stand in the holy of holies and immerse ourselves in God’s presence.

As much as I dread this day, I’m thankful for the cycle that brings me to a point of humility each Good Friday. It is the worst of me that brought this about … I am ashamed that this day even has to exist in history and I am humbled that this gift is offered freely.

Monday morning we will return to our normal lives. Celebrations will be complete, families will go home, jobs will demand our time, life will move on. But today, as much as I feel sorrow and pain for the crucifixion of Jesus’ body over two thousand years ago, I am renewed by the grace and hope of his unfathomable gift on that cross.

May you have a blessed Easter weekend.
– Diane

Moving Past Fear to Ship

The one thing I won’t ship is TB. I promise.

Seth Godin is one of my inspirational authors. He pulls no punches when he writes.

In his book, Linchpin, he addresses one of the biggest problems with moving forward. You have to not only finish whatever it is you are doing, but you have to ship.

You can practice that instrument in the privacy of your house every day, but until you sit down with the orchestra and play it – you aren’t adding anything to the world.

You can write poems and stories, but until you publish them for others to read, they add nothing to the world.

The world needs what you create!

He knows how difficult it is to ship. I know how difficult it is to ship. I’ve written about his description of the Lizard Brain – the amygdala – the fear center of your brain. This is the part of me that tells me nobody cares about what I write, that I’m not very good at it, that believes the worst of the reviews or unflattering comments that come my way.

Shipping – moving off center – releasing your baby to the world – performing in front of real live people – putting your heart and soul out there … it’s absolutely impossible for many people, frightening as hell for others, and stomach lurching for most of us.

The first time I pressed that *publish now* button, I wanted to go throw up. I no longer lived in my own safe little world where I was the only author that existed.

The thing is, I still live in the panic of the amygdala a lot of the time.

Oh, you can tell me how wonderful I am, how much you love my books, how I shouldn’t worry, how I should do it anyway … you know, all that really good stuff. The thing is – we all need to hear that, but we (and by we, I mean anyone who puts themselves out there) also need to hear that you get it. That you’ve experienced the fear that comes from doing things others won’t try.

I have a friend who gets on her horse regularly to ride in competitions. Sometimes she does just fine and then there are the times when she absolutely rocks the world. I’m so danged proud. But I know the fear that hits her heart when she climbs up and rides into the ring. She does it anyway.

Another friend stands in front of a large group of singers. They’ve trained and trained, but we all know that every single thing can go wrong in a performance, especially when there are hundreds of people in the audience and he’s dealing with the terrified amygdalas of fifty individuals on the risers. He lifts his arms to direct them anyway.

A friend of mine is an incredibly talented jazz organist. He practices for hours and hours. He hears and cringes at every single missed note. When the time comes, he hauls those keyboards all over the Midwest and plays with the best musicians in the country. Every week.

My sister teaches fifth grade. She’s always under pressure to lead those little horrors into their best lives ever. She has to manage absentee parents, a district whose focus on numbers and metrics eclipses their focus on individual students, failures every day from unexpected places, kids whose terrible living circumstances follow them to class; all while making a salary most corporate types would laugh at. She goes every day anyway.

I’ve been fighting off my own fears these last couple of weeks. There have been days I simply fail and go to bed overwhelmed because there is still so much yet to do and I was unable to get over the hump of feelings of inadequacy.

But Godin’s words come back at me … telling me that I can’t sit still very long. Getting lost in the mire of my own fears is a ridiculous place to spend time.

And the other thing … the minute I wrote about just a few of my friends who inspire me, my spirits picked up. Get up and outside of your own head, Diane. The world is too delicious not to experience to its fullest.

Godin writes: “You have brilliance in you, your contribution is essential, and the art you create is precious. Only you can do it, and you must.”

Go. Do. Create. Ship.

To Clean or Not to Clean … That is the Question.

Okay … confession time.

I started writing the Bellingwood series as a diversion from writing papers in my Master’s Degree courses. When I needed to procrastinate, I wrote the story. Rather than clean or do any number of things around here, I soon discovered that my favorite work-avoidance was to write fiction.

Now, I’d done this over and over throughout the rest of my life, but I never finished anything. There are scores and scores of barely begun stories hiding in different places in my life. I look at them and say “maybe someday.”

By the time I finished the degree I had the first two books published and the third well underway. My procrastination projects had paid off. Pretty cool, eh?

March your little feet forward with me to today.

My job is to write these stories. I focus on them all the time. If I’m not writing, I’m thinking and researching, plotting and planning. I’m marketing, I’m chatting, I’m putting things into place. I’m building newsletters and looking for book covers (while praying that a title will show up before the book goes to press). Everything in my life is now focused on my writing career.

…which leads me to the problem of procrastination. Because I recognize how much of a role this plays in my life, I actually build that wasted time into my schedule. I’ve been burned before and since I’m not a stupid girl, it was important to learn that lesson.

I’ve decided that tonight is a procrastination night. I don’t think I could come up with a creative word to save my life. What should I do … what should I do?

Earl and TB are snuggled up. TB’s paw is actually resting right there on Earl’s. Gotta love ’em. They’re going to be very surprised when that vacuum starts running. Poor boys.

The sad thing is that I absolutely have to do some cleaning around here. Even sadder … I think I’m looking forward to this. Cleaning is one of those things that I generally abhor. I avoid it with all that I have inside me. I can ignore a pile of junk like you can’t believe. If I don’t look at it – it doesn’t exist. If it doesn’t exist – I don’t have to worry about it.

I could sew or play my piano. I could lie down and read a bit or watch television shows. I could fret over the work projects that haven’t been completed yet.

But no … I’m about to clean.

What are you go-tos when you want to avoid working on something?

I suppose that instead of talking about it, I should probably get off my duff and do it. I can procrastinate procrastination!

Moving Forward and the Lizard Brain

Some days you look out and see several different futures in front of you.

The first future is normal. You’ve been doing it this way for a long time. Familiar colors and people. It’s quite comfortable; really doesn’t take much more effort than you’re used to expending.

Then you become aware that just off in the periphery is another possibility. Your mind’s eye only sees that it is dark and foreboding, filled with murky pitfalls you spend way too much time imagining. You don’t perceive a clear path through, only the first few steps are visible. As fearful as it is, when you look closely at those steps, you realize they’re covered with sparkly fairy dust and unicorn glitter. The promise of something better lies beyond your own fears and bleak imagination, but you have to take that first step … make a commitment to the new future.

~~~

Seth Godin talks about our Lizard Brain – the almond-shaped amygdala – a cluster of nerves at the base of our brain. Now, not only is the amygdala useful for protection – it stops us from running out in front of moving traffic – it is also where our anxiety, depression and fears reside. And as small as this sucker is in relationship to the rest of our brain, it has power.

Steven Pressfield in his book The War of Art calls it Resistance. We face it down every day in order to accomplish our goals and achieve new heights, but it never stops fighting us. Whenever we’re presented with something new, Resistance shows up to tell us that the easy way out is the better way.

Chip and Dan Heath write in Switch that will-power: self-control, self-supervision, change, decision-making, on and on, is an exhaustible resource. One reason change is so hard is that people have worn themselves out. They’re exhausted at continually being in charge, being on top, being aware. So when it comes time to change, it is sometimes nearly impossible.

~~~

I’ve been gearing up for something, that while it will make no difference to all of you (I’m never going to stop writing the Bellingwood series on a regular schedule), it offers changes for me. Not big wild changes or anything crazy-nuts radical, just something that requires me to refocus some energy. I know that I’m going to do it. There’s no question.

But I fear failure or making a fool of myself or tripping over my lack of understanding or doing something really stupid or not knowing enough to handle mistakes … on and on. My Lizard Brain has taken hold.

The scary ghosts in that murky darkness have gained too much power in my head and it’s time to beat them back.

I’m really not asking for anything here (especially advice or preaching – I’ve got this) … just expressing what’s going on. When I get like this, I find it really helpful to write things out; to express what’s going on in my little brain – the one that should be in control – not the Lizard Brain.

Feel free to talk about your fears or the way you handle the Lizard Brain. I think we’ve all been there and I’m pretty sure we’ll all face it again and again. Prayer, planning, preparation. And a severe beatdown of that stinking Lizard Brain. Who’s with me?